


Bitter Fuck

by slipperysailors



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ficlet, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23703379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slipperysailors/pseuds/slipperysailors
Summary: But he keeps dragging, keeps his feet pulling themselves, keeps going.Alone. Afraid. Possibly on the brink of death.Because there is blood, so much blood,Oozing and cascading through his shivering raw fingers,Running red rivers down his dirty clothes.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 3
Kudos: 78
Collections: these bitches gay! good for them!!





	1. Part 1

The wind is cold. Cold enough to freeze the tips of ears, and nip at the blood rushing in his fingers.

Jaskier is wrapped covertly in a thick cloak, swallowed by it. His face is covered by its shadow, lost to the dark.

The snow under his feet is solid, only the soft creek of his shoes on to it alerts anyone of him,

He is _alone_.

Surrounded by thick trees and endless snow.

He has been alone for a long time.

Weeks, months, _years_, he hasn’t kept count. He has been alone since,

_Since Geralt._

But he keeps dragging, keeps his feet pulling themselves, _keeps going_.

Alone. Afraid. Possibly on the brink of death.

Because there is blood, _so much blood_,

Oozing and cascading through his shivering raw fingers,

Running red rivers down his dirty clothes.

Clothes covered in mud and shit and so much _fucking_ blood,

Not all of it’s his. But he doesn’t care,

Thinking about it is too much. Takes him too close to going blank,

Too close to falling to the floor.

So his feet move, they shuffle, they do anything _to keep his heart beating,_

For no one to hear.


	2. Part 2

_“We could head to the coast. Get away for a while.”_

The words are so tempting, _so belittling,_

They echo in and out of Jaskier’s head, like forgotten poetry in a lost book,

Then he is reminded,

With another footprint lost deep in snow,

Geralt doesn’t _want _him,

_Geralt never wanted him._

Because if he had, the minutes, the hours, 

Wouldn’t have turned into _months, _into _years_.

Jaskier doesn’t know where he’s going, he lets the direction of the falling snowflakes guide him, further and deeper into the warning trees,

He knows, the blood hasn’t stopped pouring,

His fingers are blue,

He’ll die out here.

The death will be _slow, aching and dull._

It would be _quick, painful and sharp,_

If he does it himself.

If he takes the iron dagger from his pocket,

_the one that’s covered in blood,_

And if he plunges, _deep_, into his chest,

_If he twists it,_

He’ll die. _He will die._

And the thought isn’t meant to be so pleasant but,

_He is already in agony,_

_His heart already is slow and aching,_

_His thoughts are already dull and gloomy,_

He needs, _he needs_,

To _feel_ something, 

something_ more, _something_ different._

His feet stop. The weather hammers against his back,

His frozen fingers, _reach for the dagger,_

_He’s already dying,_

_He’s just speeding it up._

Jaskier takes it,

Lets the weight bounce in his hand,

He turns it, _places it on his chest,_

The tip rests upon his heart, digs through his clothes until he feels the _slight _prick to his skin,

_He stops,_

_“What am I doing?”_

The words are lost, beaten down by the harsh wind, 

But Jaskier feels the tiniest blotch of blood,

_Seeping from the small cut,_

The cascading blood river from his side,

_He puts the dagger back,_

He cups the wound again,

_He keeps moving._

**Author's Note:**

> lmao I didn't know what to call this and I was listening to bitter fuck by joji 
> 
> another one of my experimental writing style,, bc I do enjoy it  
thank u sm for reading!!


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